bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
