i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
