whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
