Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I see more hoeing in ur future
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