Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
