Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
