i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
