I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
