Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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