you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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