Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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