Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
