I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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