I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
