we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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