I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
