If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
