it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
