What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
