Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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