I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
