I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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