yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
