she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
