The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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