What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
