she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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