You're my little dorito
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
