But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
