why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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