Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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