she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
