I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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