Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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