He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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