Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
