I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Randomize
