some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
