Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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