Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
