You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
