One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This is the high leading the old right now
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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