Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
