If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
my poor anus
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
