So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
