Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
