Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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