I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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