Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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