We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
