She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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